We are approaching the 47th anniversary of the assassination of J.F.K.
I can't help noting that 40-years-ago if you believed Kennedy was killed by a C.I.A. conspiracy, if you believed aliens from outer space were regularly visiting our planet and corn-holing humans (especially those that live in trailer parks), if you believed the C.I.A. were conspiring to put micro-chips in every one's butt - you were considered to be a crackpot and a fucking lunatic.
And yet 40 years later, in wide swaths of the geography and culture of this nation, (these United States of America), if you do not believe these conspiracy theories - you are considered to be a crack-pot and a fucking lunatic.
Conspiracy theory is no doubt a peculiar mental illness of our particularly paranoid times, and yet - perhaps - conspiracy theory can be said to be a new art form of our day.
In that spirit I will now reveal the TRUTH that is out there.
The homo-sexuals killed Kennedy!
When Jacqueline Kennedy became our nations first lady in January 1961 she found the White House badly in need of a make-over. She appointed the first White House curator, formed the Fine Arts Committee for the White House which was charged with procuring furnishing and artwork owned by previous presidents and/or first ladies, or furnishings and artwork which were representative of previous periods in the White House's history.
She maintained that she was not trying to impose her stylistic tastes, but was just trying to honor American history and craftsmanship.
For three days in January 1962, Jacqueline Kennedy was filmed and interviewed by CBS
as she conducted the nation in a behind-the-scenes tour of the White House make-over. On the night of February 14, 1962 three out of four television viewers and 100 percent of the homosexual television viewers witnessed the make-over.
The homo-sexuals hated it.
Homo-sexuals in New Orleans and Dallas (the same people who eventually founded the tea-bag (douche-bag) movement) decided - that night, that no-taste, bee-otch Jacqueline Kennedy must die.
There were homo-sexual gun men all over Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963. They were in the book depository building, they were on the grassy knoll. But while homo-sexuals can be very adapt with knives, they are hopeless with firearms.
They missed Jacqueline and hit Jack.
I am not the first person to expound this conspiracy theory. I am merely elaborating on the conspiracy theory of Jim Garrison, district attorney of Orleans Parish, Louisiana from 1962 to 1973, who was latter immortalized by Oliver Stone in his movie J.F.K.
Garrison's investigation resulted in the arrest, trial and acquittal of prominent New Orleans gay business-man Clay Shaw.
Garrison alleged Shaw and other homo-sexuals somehow linked to the C.I.A. conspired and killed J.F.K.
And that's my conspiracy theory.
And I'm sticking to IT....
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